Shearese Stapleton: Helping Families Find Joy

July 24, 2024

Shearese has faced hardships, including divorce, depression and homelessness. Now she’s using her life experience to lift other parents up. Her nonprofit, Mothers of Joy, Institute for Parenting and Family Wellness, provides resources and a safe space for Flint, Michigan, families. Shearese sharpens their parenting skills by teaching them mindfulness routines, helping them understand early childhood trauma and passing on best practices for raising healthy children. She also guides families in exploring careers, building friendships and handling bills at home. These life skills, Shearese knows, can help them be good parents and avoid some of the heartaches she’s gone through.

“I came from a background where there was trouble from the beginning,” Shearese recalls. “My mother and father were in their teens when they had me, and they argued a lot. There wasn’t much money when my dad left, and my mom would become frantic when the bills were due. Fortunately, we went to live with my grandmother, and she taught me to be strong and strive to succeed in life.”

Shearese went on to run a home day care for 15 years, then worked as a teacher’s aide at a public preschool while earning her CDA®. And the credential helped her rise when she went to work at another school. “I was there for about six months,” Shearese recalls, “when the director realized I had a special talent for working with families. So, she created a position for me as a family engagement specialist, a role in which I helped parents in some of the same ways I do now. And I went on to sharpen my skills by earning an associate degree in early childhood and a certification as a trained mentor.”

These qualifications allowed her to do even more to serve the community in Flint. She took part in a study on the cognitive development of children and families who were affected by lead and environmental trauma. She became the family coordinator for Cummings Great Expectations early childhood program with the University of Michigan and Flint public schools. She gained certification as a master trainer in adverse childhood experiences for the Michigan ACE Initiative, which fosters resilience among children who’ve been through trauma. In addition, she held workshops, provided group coaching and helped build family bonds through her Hearts at Home, Homemakers by Choice, Ministry of Motherhood and Love & Logic programs. “I come from the same background as many of the families I’ve served,” she says. “I know where they’re coming from, so they feel a sense of hope when they look at me.”

And Flint families needed hope during the COVID pandemic as they faced undue stress in their lives, including loss of jobs, homelessness and isolation. Hearing their stories led Shearese to apply for a grant in 2020, so she could open Mothers of Joy. Her group became a nonprofit in 2022, and early this year Mothers of Joy acquired its own space. Now Shearese serves about 100 parents in a cozy room with calming grey walls and chairs filled with comfy animal blankets. The families come each week for classes like the one she recently taught on anger management, something Shearese’s own parents could have used when she was a child.

Shearese helps families avoid the toxic environment she endured at home by making them think about why they get angry and how they respond. “Then we watch some videos about anger and talk about what happens to your body when you get angry,” Shearese explains. “I also give them calming exercises to help focus on what they’re feeling when they get angry and want to calm down. When they return the next week, they tell me what they’ve done to shut off their anger and stop yelling at their kids.”

There are some simple techniques, as Shearese points out. “One is taking deep breaths, feeling your chest and telling yourself I want to feel better. Hugs can also help, but some parents don’t have anyone to hug them. So, I tell the parents to take a blanket, wrap it around their arms and pull the ends tight. It’s a way to give yourself a kind of hug.”

Parents get this and other calming techniques in Positive Parenting 2.1, a program in which Shearese focuses on childhood trauma. Children exposed to trauma, as she knows, can be a challenge for parents. Parenting kids with behavior issues can, in turn, bring out the worst in parents. So, the program teaches parents how to develop and practice ways to stay calm, remain consistent, and be proactive instead of reactive when responding to their children’s behavior. “We start with the parents,” Shearese says, “because the way they act can make a lifelong impact on the children. If we tell parents how to deal with their traumas, then parents can avoid passing on toxic feelings to their children.”

It’s easier for parents to cope if they can find small moments of joy in daily life. So Shearese shows them how to make tasty meals at low cost, get ready for holidays and exercise when they’re feeling down. In addition, she shows them how to connect with other organizations to fill gaps in what they need.

The support and guidance that Shearese provides helped one young mom take big steps in her life, as Shearese recalls. “When I met the mom, she was living with her mother, couldn’t find a job and was afraid to drive. The young woman’s mother had to do everything for her. Then, one day, the mom walked into my office dangling a set of keys. She had gotten her license, bought a car, found a job and moved into her own place. I was proud of her,” Shearese says.

And the young mom’s progress had a personal meaning for Shearese. She, too, has faced challenges during her life. She overcame them, thanks to her sense of persistence and her grandmom’s support. Now she wants to give families hope and a safe place to surmount their problems, too. “I want to help parents have strong values, believe in themselves and want more for their children than they had,” she says. Seeing parents take steps in the right direction gives Shearese joy.

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